Whod you bang
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I supernannyed him into submission
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
