I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
