So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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