they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He shit in the fireplace
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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