i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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