How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
