And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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