Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
