NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
