she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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