Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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