His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
