She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
