We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
