we have officially lost it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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