Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
