found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your penis caused this!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
