Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
