How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
