im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
