I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
