VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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