Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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