small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
