Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and she was petting her beer can
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
