You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
