Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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