ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
