glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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