dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
