If that was your dad, he is hot
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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