oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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