Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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