Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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