Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
