omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
