i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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