and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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