Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
