Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
