This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize