grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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