Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
