I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't put those talents on a resume
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
