I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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