Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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