all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
