the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
