I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize