I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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