its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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