But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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