There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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