you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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