Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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