I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
