They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
