I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
either way he was missing a nipple.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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