remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
