just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
only you would photoshop your dick
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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