i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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