Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
