I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
