census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize